There were a lot of people in my life that didn't agree with my decision to have this surgery. So much so, that about a month after I made the decision to have the procedure, I simply stopped talking about it to people. Everyone had a wife's brother's cousin who had complications. Or some just thought I should toughen up and exercise to drop the weight.
Support wasn't necessarily through the roof, despite my studying the percentages and risks for nearly 3 years.
Here is my reasoning:
1.) Quality of life - My quality of life was at an all time low. I couldn't exercise because of joint pain and two blown out knees. Back pain was a daily issue. I struggled to get out of bed in the mornings. Yard work was a chore to physically complete. My job, which consists of mostly brain work behind a desk, would drain me so much physically that I struggled to stay up past 8pm. My mood swings were horrible.
Physically, I was a mess..
2.) Family history - In 2006 I watched helplessly as my dad laid in the Critical Care Unit of Huntsville Hospital, totally incapacitated and white as a corpse. He had some shortness of breath days before. The doctors did an arteriogram and my father died on the table. They were able to shock him to get his heart restarted, and a day later he had triple bypass. His left artery (the widow-maker) was 99% clogged. Had he had a heart attack, he would have died on the spot.
And he's certainly not the only person in my family with a history of heart disease. Basically every male over 60 has experienced heart issues.
In short, I was convinced I would die early because of heart disease brought on by super morbid obesity.
3.) Discipline - I don't have it. At least I don't have it without the presence of immediate consequence, thus the name of today's blog. With a diet, you can cheat a little here and there and not have to worry about a consequence, except maybe a little gain in your weight. The bigger consequence - death - is not immediate. "So what if I have a cheeseburger for lunch. It's not like it's going to kill me today."
When the threat of consequence is immediate, I have no issues with discipline. And with this procedure, death or serious debilitation is an immediate consequence to a bad food decision.
4.) My kids - The thought of my kids growing up without my mentor-ship shook me to the very foundation. I want to live long enough to watch them achieve their milestones and have a positive effect on their lives. I want to be fit enough to play with them for hours. I want to live long enough to share the values I've been taught by multiple generations of my family.
But most importantly, I want to set an example for them. I don't want them to end up with an obesity problem and have the struggles that I've had.
All of these realizations, coupled with years of failed diets led me to a point of equal parts desperation and hope.
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I'm still not totally convinced I've made the right decision, especially when I think about never being able to eat my mom's excruciatingly delicious homemade chocolate pie.
But I did what I thought was best, have no regrets, and now all I can do is try to prove the naysayers wrong.
Weight this morning: 396 (-45lbs)
Happy Phase 2 day to me! I will be celebrating with cream of potato soup and chocolate pudding all day.
More pics when I hit 390.
Cheers,
John
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