777 days - Reflecting On the Past, Still Chasing Future

It's been a little over two years since I took drastic steps to improve (and hopefully extend) the quality of my life. The actions were drastic, as were the results.

777 days later, I have not once regretted the decision. Well, maybe I regretted it a few times when I was struggling to move around in the days after the operation. But since I have healed, and subsequently lost 175 pounds, I have not regretted it a bit.

My BP was never this low medicated (6/30/13)

I had grand visions of what it would be like to lose a lot of weight and be skinny. I thought it would magically fix all my problems. I thought I would be blissfully happy each days as I shuffled back and forth over this mortal coil. My trials would melt away with the fat, I presumed. My tribulations would subside along with the raging appetite.

You know what? For the most part, I was right.

I said good riddance to all the meds I was taking and now have good health. I exercise daily now, sometimes twice a day. My body aches and pains disappeared alongside the weight.

480 Days - Celebrating Life with My Wife

Over the course of the last two years, I've had so much support from friends and family as I've changed my life for the better. Positive thoughts have flooded my inbox and Facebook page from near and far. Friends from many years ago have once again entered my life to show support and encouragement, and all of it has meant the world to me.

But without the endless support, love, and patience of my wife, I would be nothing.

11 years ago today, I married the love of my life.

I knew the moment we met I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She was so driven, independent, intelligent, and of course beautiful.

The early years of our marriage have been fantastic. But battling obesity, I was often cranky. She would always understand and roll with the mood swings. Not many people would have.

Since I've maintained this blog, I've reflected upon many reasons why I made drastic changes to improve my health. I wanted to be more active. I wanted to be a better son. I wanted to be a better father.

Day 449 - Pain - The Ultimate Motivator

Taylor's Theory of Consequence, developed by yours truly, clearly states "a world without consequence will surely slip into chaos."

Not extinct. Not extinct at all.

A year and a half ago I was suffering the worst type of consequence - insurmountable pain. Joint pain. Back pain. Butt pain. Toe pain. When I awoke in the mornings, there were very few parts of my body that did not hurt.

That was the catalyst for my weight-loss surgery. You all know this because we've covered it numerous times in this blog.

Over the course of the last 9 months, I've not lost any weight. Last fall I hit 275 and just stopped losing. Not so coincidentally, it was around this time that I regained a bit of an appetite. I introduced some new-fangled dietary supplement called sugar back into my diet, much to the chagrin of my doctors. I also became a bit lethargic, and dropped my normal walking routine to participate in the Couch Olympics.

Day 343 - New Beginnings

It was one year ago I was told by my surgeon to begin a strict pre-op diet that consisted of liquids only. Going from eating like I was accustomed to eating to only having liquid "meal-replacement" shakes was horrifying.

I was allowed five shakes a day. Each one had barely 150 calories, but contained all the nutrients important to promote good health. The diet was critical to the success of the surgery, as it helped shrink the liver and provided an easier path for the surgeon to navigate.

Enjoying one of my favorite past-times!

For two weeks I had to endure the smells around me - Watching others eat food that I knew tasted so good. It was the most mentally miserable I can ever recall feeling.

While the purpose of the diet was critical for the physical success of the surgery, it was even more important for the mental aspect. This was my mourning period for food. It was the time to cleanse myself of all the bad habits. A sort of moratorium on gorging. A self-imposed rehabilitation. It was during this time I had to convince myself to find happiness elsewhere.

One year later, I've lost 165lbs. To say my life has changed would be a dramatic understatement. The ills of obesity, I feel, are far behind me. No more chronic joint pain. No more struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. No more tight booths in restaurants.

Day 184 - Happiness

It's now been six months since I went through with the decision to have bariatric bypass surgery.

I've had people ask me if I feel better.

"Better?" How do you quantify that?

For me, there are no words. I don't feel "better." I feel like a completely different person. I've rediscovered the youthful vigor I had in high school. My personality has returned to what it used to be when I was a kid (albeit a tad more cynical and not nearly as naive.) I don't physically struggle to do things now.

Over the weekend I was reflecting on how bad things used to be and how unhappy I was. I had a wife that loved me unconditionally. I had two beautiful children that were healthy. I had a home to live in and a job that compensated me well. With all those major life "things" right, I still felt wrong. I was horribly depressed because I knew how badly I looked. I knew how badly I felt. The lack of self-esteem was affecting every facet of my life.

These days, things are vastly different.

Day 148 - The Baddest Battle Yet

When I began this process, I thought I had it all figured out.

I studied the various processes for several years. Read all the statistics. I talked to friends and family that had gone through different types of weight loss surgery.

I knew there would be challenges. Ups and downs of varying degrees. I knew there would be times when I would be discouraged.

I went into the surgery knowing all this, and planning for it in the future. I was determined to maintain a positive outlook. And I did so.

I've had great success. The surgery certainly did it's part, but I've also worked my tail off to both expedite the process and set a good routine to live by the rest of my life. My attitude has remained positive, even during those weeks where the scale doesn't seem to budge. I've continued to work hard, trying to focus on doing it right instead of the results.

What I didn't plan for was the battle of complacency.

Day 126 - Hitting the Reset Button

Back in early August, when I last met with my nutritionist, he recommended dropping carbs and implementing resistance training. Since I implemented those changes in my daily routine, my weight loss has slowed to a mind-numbing crawl.

There are lots of great reasons why I seemed to have stopped losing weight, none of which are likely attributable to the change in diet. I have formulated theories from "water retention due to muscle soreness" (from the weight lifting) all the way to "I'm actually losing weight but adding muscle, making the scale stay the same."

No matter the reasoning, it was time to hit the reset button. I have become terribly addicted to seeing a new number on the scale, and the last month has been absolute hell on the psyche. Knowing that physically I'm giving it all I've got, but weighing each morning only to see nominal and sometimes negative results - well, that don't fly.